i need you, i need to rest my head on your legs, bury my face in your abdomen, feel your hands through my hairs, i need to feel another type of love from you. i want to be able to cry, to hold you tight, and let me imagine that you will protect me the way my mother used to. i want to go back to a time when i was weak, dependent, and protected, i want to surrender myself to your safety, i want motherly love, unconditional and available.

for few hours, minutes, second, i don’t want to fight, pretend, lie, deceive, stand up. i want to abandon myself to you, you can kill, abuse, use me but i know you won’t, i am in control, i operated you in a way that provides me security when i need it. i am a child requesting his mother love not because he needs it but simply to demonstrate he has it. i don’t need your love, i need you to show me your love when i ask for it, you are with me, you submit to me, i am in control. don’t be fooled by act of love, each of them is a string i attached to your soul, my puppet soul soon, then my work here is over, and you will be waiting for me long enough on the shelves on my memories, hoping i will look at you once more, one last time before you realized it is too late… if you like me, your only chance is to hate me